FAQ
[Based on Most Sanatan (Hindu) Ceremonies]
YOUR QUESTIONS:

How long should a Wedding Ceremony last?
Why do people sit cross legged when performing any religious ceremonies?
Can I Perform A Pooja Ceremony Myself?
What is the purpose of Ukardi Notarwani Pooja?
Why place stacks of pots next to each of the four pillars of a Mandap?
Can we use Chameli/Jasmine oil on Hanumanji?










COMING UP:

What are the 16 Sanskaars & their significances?
We are thinking of wanting a child. What ceremony needs to be performed and why?










MY ANSWERS:

How long should a Wedding Ceremony last?

INITIAL TELEPHONE CALL
“Hello!” she said as I placed the phone receiver close to my ear.
“Jai Shree Krishna” she continued. “Is that indianmaharaj?”
“Jai Shree Krushna, yes, I am” I said, “How can I help you?”
“Emm, I am getting married next year and want someone to perform our wedding ceremony.”
“OK, who are you, what’s your name?”
“The thing is, we are short of time so how long will it take?” She overrides my request for her introduction.
So I repeat my question, “Who am I speaking to please?”
“O! My name is Reshma” she says and continues, “How much do you charge?
“Well Reshma that depends on if I am free or not and exactly what services are needed. So tell me, what was the date you had in mind?”
“O! It’s next year”
I waited in anticipation and the line stayed silent.
“… a … a … a August … August 28th and it’s only the wedding. No other ceremonies beforehand.”
I checked up the date in my diary and noted that I had no bookings on that day. So, I carried on and informed her of my charges which was acceptable to her.
“So, how long will you take?” implying the time it will take to perform the actual wedding.
After informing her that it will take just about one and one half of an hour, I continued that this may vary depending on just how receptive the people are. Such as whether the groom arrives at the alter in time, the bride arriving when called for, the brothers being ready when the fire is lit, how many women were to attend the ‘Akhand Saubhagyavati’ ceremony and so on. All these stoppages could extend the wedding time to as much as two hours.
“Yes but we only have an hour. Could you perform the whole ceremony in an hour?”
WEDDING CEREMONY – AN OVERVIEW
Not so long ago, only just four generations ago (five generations at most!), weddings used to take up as much as a fortnight. What we now know as the one and one half of an hour ceremony alone used to take up four days. Or shall we say nights to be precise.
The primary reason for such long winded process was to explain the intricacies of life. The good and the bad times the couple are likely endure. More importantly however would be the teachings of how to overcome these unwelcome issues. The teachings that explain how to avoid jumping to conclusions which otherwise would only lead to even bigger problem. Only this time, the past issues would come to surface for no apparent reason.
The ceremony would also go on to explain at length just how important the wider family connections can be an asset. That the marriage is not just the union of two individuals but of two families, two societies but even more importantly how to overcome the differences of others behaviour or way of life and more. This would be repeated in slightly different way showing just how the system works at the ‘in-laws’.
Up until the time of marriage, the couple are most likely to have lived their own lives in their parent’s homes. This would be without someone treading on their toes every step of the way. Well, from hereinafter, the couple have to get accustomed to each other. This can be tricky at times leading to unavoidable arguments. The priest would teach them of how to overcome rather than avoid such situations.
OBSERVATION & CONCLUSION
National Statistical figures indicate more people getting married between the ages of 28 and 34. At the same time, the highest number of divorces takes place between the ages of 32 and 42.
To think that one hour is sufficient to cover all of the above is not only impossible but an insult in the name of alleged ‘Hindu’ wedding. Might as well not bother with all that farcical mumbo-jumbo; it only becomes apparent that the wedding is an arrogant spectacle of oneself in the society. (Not my words! Words of those present in these types of weddings discussing the merits or shall we say performing a post-mortem. Worse! To think that these very people are your invitees is heart-breaking.) Even if we were to take out all the repetitions, the irrelevance and the cumbersome hour long sacrificial fire ceremony, the fact still remains that at least two hours are needed to satisfactorily perform the full ceremony.
For crying out loud, this is a wedding, a marriage that you are entering into. Not some stupid game you otherwise played when you were young whereupon come the evening and the cardboard house was folded away and everyone went their own ways. This is for real. No one wants you guys to go your own way in days, months or just a few years down the road. Not least your parents! If you do plan to go your own way at some stage in life, boy, it’s one hell of a party and an expensive piece of photographic evidence that you allocated so much time to. Much more than the time it takes for the priest to spell out the vows.
THE QUESTION
So, Reshma or any Bride &/or Groom who wishes to replace her or himself in Reshma’s shoes, think again. Is it too much to ask for to have a proper wedding rather than just filling in the gap?
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The QUESTION is:

Why do people sit cross legged when performing any religious ceremonies?
(Unless/Except for people with sitting problems like I have!)

The answer is so simple, I bet you will kick yourself for this ...

Number of reasons:

1 - it is the most comfortable position to be sitting down in. Specially if seated properly with up-right posture like they show in Yoga etc.

if you (ladies) sit with bent (folded) legs to the side - as they otherwise do! - there is a greater chance of getting a back ache very soon as you most certainly will need the opposite hand to rest on.

2 - ever tried to get up on the double in any given seated position? seated cross legged is the slowest of all to get up from. this means that when one is sitting down for prayers, one is in no particular rush to get up and go.

3 - ever tried to defend yourself in any given position? the only way to protect oneself seated in this position is thru their hands. but then, your hands are being utilised for prayers. one is therefore relying on God to protect them. [Here, protection is not so much as from the tangible enemies as much from the unruly and unwanted vibes. For example, I look to protect myself from any sad situations. In other words, if and when I come across any sad moments, I ask for strength to remove those sad situations and fill the void with happiness]

4 - to be at someone's feet [God's feet in this instance], one cannot be seated any lower unless one lies down flat on their tummy and that would not be deemed to be a seating position! Sitting comfortably and this low, not in a rush to get away, leaving Him to protect you; the only thing you can do is pray! Pray that He helps you every step of the way...

And you thought the answer would be just a couple of lines!!!!

Whilst it is not my habit to ask anyone to forward my work, if you like my write-ups, please feel free to forward to your friends, families and beyond. My very humble and polite request is that one respects my wish not to change ownership of the article.

As always, your comments on the article is always appreciated.
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The QUESTION is:

Can I Perform A Pooja Ceremony Myself?

With the invention of the internet and many convenient tools to access information therein, there is no stopping for people to D.I.Y. any type of activity they so desire.

As a hobby one can learn a musical instrument and thereafter become a professional. One can even go as far as learning carpentry and build one’s own furniture or even build your own property. Become a fitness expert. On the adverse side, build your own destructive device or better still, build a preventative device. The list is endless …

Anything is possible, anything at all! Well, almost anything …. Some actions, I’m afraid will be beyond practical or economical use of one’s resources such as performing your own medical operation or flying your own commercial airline unless you are Richard Branson! How about a less expensive hobby? Such as trying to speed race your car through the rush hour in central metropolis. Yea Right!!

Sure, one can buy books to teach oneself almost anything and to learn about Pooja is practically a kid’s game. All you have to do is invest some time in studying the actions required to perform the ceremony. Better still, visit somewhere where a Pooja is being conducted, observe and thereafter come home and repeat the ceremony as previously seen and noted. Although the religious books suggest that only a Brahman should carry out this Pooja, surely no one is ever going to find out if you don’t tell anyone, correct?

Wrong, your conscience knows about it. Then again, Lord Vishnu knows; the one who in the form of Lord Krushna made sure that he invited Brahmans to carry out the Pooja accordingly. The 10th Skandh of Srimad Bhagwat is saturated with examples.

Now consider this:

Even if you knew how to carry out the ceremony yourself because you have seen your parents, grand parents, uncles, aunts, friends, neighbours and so on perform these Pooja; the chances are that one has very little knowledge of the reasons for the Pooja or the understanding and the meaning behind each Pooja.

Take for example the simple situation of sitting down cross legged to perform a Pooja. Are you aware of why this is the case? Or, what, how, when and why did the use of beetle nut become a significant part of the Pooja?

To make things simpler, let me throw a couple more questions in to see if you can answer them correctly as a learned priest would:

Why sit on something like a cushioned blanket or a pillow and why cover such seating area with silk sari or silk material? Why perform a send-off ceremony at the end of each Pooja when we are fully aware that God is Omnipresent?

On the other hand, there are those who say that they carry out Pooja’s every morning and have done so for many years. They feel adequate in not inviting a priest, a Brahman, to carry out a Pooja once every year, if not once every other year. Under such circumstances, not only do the above apply but my other article “Don’t Agree with Religion …” also becomes an apt solution to the situation.

Well, I hope I have answered your question. If however, you feel that you require further clarification, please do send me an email indianmaharaj[at]hotmail.com. The usual pre-condition applies. This being that you must provide your personal details including contact number.
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The QUESTION is:

What is the purpose of Ukardi Notarwani Pooja?

What is the purpose of Ukardi Notarwani Pooja? Why it is called Ukardi?

The dictionary meaning of Ukardi: A dung hill, a heap of rubbish, a dirty place.
The dictionary meaning of Notarwanu: To invite at an auspicious occasion

The literal translation therefore, would be to invite the dirt, the dung, the heap of rubbish at an auspicious occasion.

Now, a wider meaning of this ceremony:
Not so much now-a-days as much as in the olden days, the members of the immediate friends, families and relatives could arrive at the host’s residence as much as a fortnight ago. This was not usually seen as a hindrance but more so as assistance. In the main, there is so much to do that it would be almost impossible just for the host – the bride or the groom, their siblings and parents – to take on the task by themselves.

Soon, over the period more and more people’s presence would be felt. All this meant was that the chances of someone loosing or misplacing their personal belongings would increase by the day. Now-a-days, it such situation arises, one just speaks out and everyone is on the lookout. Even the persons nominated would check whilst using facilities such as vacuum cleaner or alike. However, without the modern facilities such as vacuum cleaners, adequate refuge collection bags and so on, the rubbish had to be piled up in one corner. The corner that otherwise is pre-designated and marked accordingly with an envelope containing some cash gift. This was so that any rubbish, household or otherwise, would be swept and thrown on this heap.

Once the wedding was over and just before the last of the aforementioned guests begged their farewell, the cleaners would be called to check for items that ought not to be thrown away such as lost items or items otherwise swept away and the rest would be placed in another pile for disposal. Thus, should one have lost or misplaced their belongings, there would be a good chance that they will find their item therein. These days of course, one would empty the vacuum cleaner or empty the refuge collection bag – also known as the black bag.

Going back to the cleaners, usually they carry out the cleaning job as an employee. It is otherwise a thankless task. However, on this occasion, once they have gone through this heap of rubbish, handed over what ought not to be disposed off and the remaining discarded, disposed, removed from the courtyard, the last item to clear would be the envelope with cash therein; nailed to the ground. This would be their gift for undertaking such mundane task that none of the guests would want to perform.

Just a short note here that now-a-days, a bride or the groom’s father’s brother’s wife (Kaki) – depending on whose ceremony one attends - takes on this task purely on superficial basis. Although, having placed a nail and a coin at a location, she very seldom or more often than not, never returns to collect as otherwise mentioned above.

Glorifying this undignified and mundane task on this auspicious day is therefore Ukardi Notarvani Pooja.
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The QUESTION is:

Why place stacks of pots next to each of the four pillars of a Mandap?

Why place stacks of pots next to each of the four pillars of a Mandap? (Mandap = Alter)
I just got to the venue where my friend was getting married. Being early, I saw all the preparations being carried out so meticulously that it kind of mesmerised me. Some made sense and others, for me, may as well not have been there. I was hoping that it may make sense as the day progresses or I will find someone who will be good enough to explain. Whilst thinking this, I noticed that along side the four pillars this person was setting up these stacks of pots. Despite having made a few attempts, I could not find anyone offering logical explanation. Later, when the priest had completed his duties, I approached him about this. His reply was thorough but to the point.
He explained that the only way to understand the reasoning is to appreciate the foundation of this theory. Basically, it reverts to those days when storage had its real value.
In the day’s gone bye, when there were no water taps in the house, no modern storage facilities and no adequate transportation facilities; people had other ways and means of storage. They used to use pots made from clay. These pots were utilised for storing not only water but also many different types of grains. Such storage of grains in clay pots kept the grains fresh for years. I remember my grand mother had pots of rice on a five year cycles. These pots admittedly were more like drums. So, first let us talk about water and of grains thereafter.
In the main, the daughters, the daughters-in-law and anyone young and healthy – mostly always women - had their job cut out for the day. First and foremost, they had to go to the village well and fetch water and this is how it worked:
Once all the household members had their morning chores done and over with, all the pots by than would be empty. Sometimes clay pots and at others made out of copper or brass. These would be stacked up on their head as well as carrying a couple in their hands. All the washing would be bundled up and hung over their shoulders. If the household employed maids to perform the washing duties, these women were spared from carrying these heavy bundles. Else they would wash the cloths at the side of the well or on the banks of a pond or the river nearby. Having done so and left to dry, they would go to the well and fill up the pots with water from the well. Thereafter, if cloths were dry, they would fold and bundle them up or wait for them to dry. The longer it took for the cloths to dry meant the late the evening meal would be. They were still expected to go home and cook unless there were other women in the household who carried out their duties. Anyway, on the basis that the cloths have been bundled up, the pots are filled, they would make their way home. At home, the pots would be placed in their places. Nicely and neatly as this water is not only utilised for drinking purposes but also for cooking, cleansing, bathing and so on. In short, it must last all the way to the following day when the whole exercise is repeated all over again.
Other pots, small or large, in the house would be utilised to store grains, often for years. These grains would be treated and stored. If properly treated, not only did this grain last long but its taste and texture felt much sweeter.
So let us now fast forward to the previous day’s ceremony. Well, in some quarters this can take place as early as a fortnight ago. All those women who keep performing this thankless task are again, today, asked to go fetch water. Being an auspicious occasion, not only do these women dress up but they are also rewarded handsomely as a thank you. At this time, Foi (Father’s sister) is given a task to ensure that this water is not wasted. There is also a possibility that some mischievous persons of the opposite – usually the groom’s - side try to topple these pots. Foi has to ensure that this does not happen. For this reason, she is deprived from the pleasures of the occasion and hence rewarded for later enjoyment.
Now let us discuss pots with grains.
Pots of grain could well have been donated by relatives or even originated from ones own house. Some pots also contain dry fruits or nuts. These would be gifted by the Groom’s side on their arrival. Chances are that these pots would only be half full. They would have had some on the way to the Mandap. The bride’s side of the family would later top these up and return on the basis that they may need some on the way home.
As for the pots with grains therein, I have very little evidence to back the entire statement hereunder. Some of the information has been on ‘hear say’ basis. Having gathered information thus far, I have compiled the situation as explained herein. Should you know of alternative or additional information or should I come across such viable information, please be assured that I will amend this article accordingly.
From time to time, to keep their respective in-laws contented, parents of the bride used to offer gifts – and still do – to all other married daughters or nieces of the family. At times such as this, these gifts could be in the form of grains in pots. The pots stacked up on all four sides of the Mandap – when dismantled – would be distributed accordingly. Nowadays, the system seldom applies in the west. Only, symbolically they are placed there as they appear to be enhancing the décor of a Mandap.
Every question raises a number of other questions. As for this article, the question raised is: Why only four pillars? Watch this space!
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The QUESTION is:

Can we use Chameli/Jasmine oil on Hanumanji?

The exact question asked, “… Can we light a Chameli Na Teil No Divo for Hanumanji Maharaj on Tuesday? I was told that Hanumanji can be offered Chameli oil on His feet or massaged on His body but never burn an oil Divo … so I want clarification from you …”

Whilst I can write a chapter and verse on the subject, to keep it short and simple: The only oil that can be rubbed on Hanuman is one from Calatropis Procera or “Aakdo” in Gujarati.
It has no smell whatsoever. We, humans, consider this plant poisonous and avoid it. However, for scientists, it is nature’s gift that saves many lives. Just like the nature of Hanuman – Pavan Putra (son of wind) - it is a plant feeding on Air, transporting air bound anti bodies and anti virus that helps keep the illnesses or conditions such asthma or certain types of cancer or skin disease away. Well, most major external bodily conditions can be cured with aid of this plant. This includes certain snake or Scorpio bits. The leaves were used as paper for large writings almost until paper was set as an alternative means to write on. Sometimes, extracting oil can be difficult. Under these circumstances sesame seeds are mixed and marinated before oil is extracted thereof.
There are six main original flowers of which Chameli (Jasmine) is one of them. Their respective oils would have very nice fragrances. All other types of flowers are or better, were creations from a number of combinations. However, these, the scented flowers, are not preferred by Hanuman as these can divert his attention from the reality same as it would do to us humans. The reality for Hanuman is His undivided consideration for His mentor Shree Ram.
So where and how are Chameli or Jasmine utilised? One can light a divo every Tuesday – primarily because He was born on a Tuesday! - And if, as above, not enough jasmine is available due to off season difficulties, sesame seed oil is otherwise used with jasmine incense or flower or just one petal within the oil depending on availability and the size of the container of Divo. No such oil – full of fragrance - is used for rubbing on Shree Hanuman at any time. Also, apart from Jasmine and other five flowers, no other flower must be used as they (all other flowers) are a combination and not considered original or pure.
Whilst we are concentrating on leaves and flowers, there are two other types of plants that are considered to be utilised for religious purposes:
We already noted that Calatropis Procera is mostly good for external uses; the one for internal use is Tulsi. Please see http://www.organicindia.com/tulsi-facts.php. for further information. In addition, when consuming the offerings if a Tulsi leaf is swallowed first, one will avoid most internal illnesses generated following consumption any food thereafter.
This leaves the calmness needed in one’s life. The only plant that was utilised here was the one Lord Shiv is bestowed with. This, along with milk and water keeps the temper low. The name of the leaf is “Bilipatra” in Gujarati or "Aegle marmelos" in English.
The only reason to bring these other plants into the picture here is to show that our ancient books are full of medical information that if the modern scientists were to read those books, they would save a lot of effort, energy and money that can otherwise be utilised for further enhancement beyond the efforts already made.
QED
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